Writings

To the Movement at Large,

Y’know this past year has been pretty crazy for me – in prison you have a lot of time to think… to evaluate…and this is what I’ve done. I’m sure you are all aware that I held a hardline no compromise stance. For the longest time I was a “down for the shoot-out kid” and if you weren’t down for that well too, well then you weren’t down. And if you weren’t down to use violence, well then you weren’t serious and I believed you couldn’t be effective. For the longest time I felt the only way to give yourself for your collective was to die for it; to be an Achilles.

But who was Achilles? He was a hero and heroic but it wasn’t for the group, it was for his own glory that he died. These are the heroes you hear about. He wasn’t in the end there for his people when they may have needed him. I realize that the real heroes are no less heroic for sacrificing their glory in order to be there. I’ve come to the point where I don’t want to be an Achilles. I want to learn temperance and add it to my strength to be, as long as possible, a firm ground for my tribe to stand upon.

Now recently I’ve also come to the conclusion that I’ve held other people to my own flawed standards. I made harsh statements, against SHAC and others, that lacked love and temperance that are needed for us to be healthy and unified. In a way I was selfish and narrowminded to have held them to a standard gleaned from a path walked much different and with different circumstances than the one they may walk. To everyone who I’ve hurt by this unloving intemperance. My bad yo, and my apologies. I seek now to walk a true standard as a man who will be there for my people, and anyone who cares is my people. I hope to be a pillar of support for you. I don’t want to be a kamikaze any more. I don’t want the hate and anger it brings. Full on no compromise is power – you become powerful – but at the price of your humanity. I won’t pay that price any more.

When Free put out his statement about his seeking other avenues of resistance, I was like fuck that, never me. I was angry and blind to his perspective. But I started to think about it. We acted, but what did we change? We are two men locked up for long periods of time. Both with much larger visions now then when we came into the system, unable to do what we now know is what we have to do.

My vision is now larger than a handgun and going on a kamikaze mission. In fact, I don’t think this is where you should go. Free will be doing different things, as well as I. I want to bring conscious families together into an agrarian community. I want to bring children into the movement. I’m gonna choose the harder path than the easy way out. I’m gonna open my heart but not fear the loss of my strength. I start today by giving you my love and not my anger, my heart and not my fury.

Your brother,
Chris Crow

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Some time ago, I asked the movement to remove my name from prisoner lists and support efforts. Unfortunately, because at the time my reasons for doing so were in conflict with certain persons' ideologies, my prepared statement was not posted on my website. So it seemed as though I took my leave without explanation, which was not the case. Also, it seemed like I was "quitting." But that was not and still is not the case.

I had become frustrated and disillusioned by the resistance to evolution within the struggle. I see evolution as one of the main principles to be harnessed in order to escape the entropic fate that destroys all life that doesn't progress in being or survival tactics. Also, I don't understand why the foremost natural law - might makes right - is not held paramount. The fact we have no inherent rights other than what we conquer through our manifest physical will.

Now I still don't understand why those principles have not become the North star of our resistance movement, but I realize after much contemplation and reflection upon my responsibility in the struggle for the preservation of all life, bailing out was not the most responsible step and not the healthiest choice.

So it is, I humbly request that those who still care for my situation and would in some way help in the support of my personal struggle during this incarceration by whatever is in their means - be it a letter or much needed funds (would be much appreciated) as my diet and maintenance of such is still an issue, commissary funds are necessary. The Administration is and has been very unsympathetic to the veg diets of the prisoners here. It has even caused me, at times, to eat meat - which is a strain on me.

Also I need mental and emotional support. This institution being a U.S.P. (maximum security) sees a lot of violence - stabbings, attempted murders... We are on lockdown for our second murder in a little over a year as I write this. I am also struggling with the race dynamics here. Ignorant behavior finds some way to oppress you no matter where you turn and creates high race tension. I have fought hard and long to combat within myself the anger and hatred caused by this tension. As I move through time further and further from the streets and the good people I knew this situation seems more and more like reality and I need help in grounding myself back on the other side of this wall.

I need your help to regain my sense of hope for the future in a place where survival is not guaranteed. I need your help to maintain my long held anarchist beliefs in this environment of debased sickening individuals.

I appreciate your help.
Your anarchist brother in continued resistance
-Chris "Dirt" McIntosh
13 October 2007

PS. I don't think any of the people that were doing my support will be available to do it again, so I'm thinking even low level support will be better than none.

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